A little over six months ago I set an intention to do 45 activities over the next year that were purely for the sake of ‘cultivating delight’ before my 46th birthday. My idea was that these activities would challenge my tendency to fixate and analyze my intentions, minimize anything that doesn’t have an altruistic outcome, and stay in the rut of routine that has become familiar.
Let’s just say…it’s not going as I intended.
But the idea has been running in the background, and it has been the motivation I needed to do things I otherwise would have talked myself out of:
- I loaded my dog and a picnic up one Saturday and drove out of the city just to take selfies at some giant road-side attractions (it’s a thing in Manitoba, evidently), including the Happy Rock.
- I spent an hour at a boutique clothing store trying on clothes I otherwise would never have considered at the direction of the store owner, and walked away with a bag of clothes and a reminder to myself that it’s okay to spend money on myself.
- I turned off the T.V. and pulled out my paints, and spent an afternoon creating my own version of an image that caught my attention–without following a step-by-step tutorial video, but instead trusting my own instincts.
- I bought a last-minute ticket to a stage production of Fiddler on the Roof, a musical that runs deep in the fabric of my memory. I gave myself over to the tears of remembering my parents singing “Sunrise, Sunset” to each other, and remembering my dad more than once asking me whether I’d remembered to check the oil in my car because that’s how he knew to express his love for me.
From my estimation, I can identify 10 activities that have been a result of this initiative. So the project hasn’t been a total bust. I’ve done things I might have otherwise talked myself out of. But I haven’t been as consistent or as organized in my approach as I’d hoped. I haven’t really pushed myself out of my comfort zone. And almost everything that I’ve done has been by myself.
In my coaching class we’re talking about things like cultivating motivation in employees and fostering an organizational culture of learning. On an organizational level, both motivation and a culture of learning requires some intrinsic commitment as well as some external clarity, accountability and support. An employee can have an internal desire to accomplish something (motivation), but that motivation can be hindered by lack of clear expectations, disconnection with the organization’s vision and values, and a lack of accountability or support from higher levels of leadership. Similarly, one-off learning workshops or seminars do not result in a culture of learning if there aren’t follow-through opportunities to apply the learning, or reasons to follow-up on action items or desired outcomes.
Something else I’m learning in coaching training: help clients reflect and adjust.
So at this mid-point evaluation of this “Cultivating Delight” project, my assessment is that the project goals are still the right goals: try new things, stretch beyond the familiar, create new data to challenge unhelpful internal scripts. Those are still the right goals. I might need to give myself some grace around the metrics.
Or maybe I don’t. Maybe I need to hold myself accountable and challenge myself to meet the metric of 45 activities. Maybe I need to increase the intention and attention I’m giving to this project.
My adjusted goals for the next season of this project is to push harder against the rut of my routine. That does not mean more expensive, necessarily. But it does mean expanding my radar and seeking out new environments, experiences, and encounters.